男性专用PMS女友终极生存宝典 (共勉)
PMS or ‘Pre-Menstrual Syndrome’ (bet some of you got that wrong) is probably one of the worst times to be around a woman, any woman. And for guys, it is a time where every step you take with her is likely a land-mine, waiting to explode. So here is some essential information and guidelines for you to survive the next round of PMS!
DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here’s fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t overdo it today.
SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect
跟处在PMS或“经前综合症（Pre-Menstrual Syndrome，估计你们有人猜错了吧）”期的女性——任何女性——呆在一起可谓置身雷区，男人们再小心翼翼也随时可能一步迈错踩爆地雷。有鉴于此，特此收录助你顺利渡过下一轮PMS的重要信息和指导攻略：
危险：晚饭做了什么？
较安全：我帮你做晚饭好吗？
最安全：晚上想去哪儿吃？
超安全：来，吃点儿巧克力。
危险：你要穿这件衣服？
较安全：天耶，你穿棕色真好看！
最安全：哇！你真是绝了！
超安全：来，吃点儿巧克力。
危险：你在那儿激动什么呀？
较安全：我哪儿不对，告诉我好吗？
最安全：拿着，这是五十块。
超安全：来，吃点儿巧克力。
危险：那玩意儿能吃吗？
较安全：你看，咱家还有好多苹果哪。
最安全：我给你倒杯酒就着吃？
超安全：来，吃点儿巧克力。
危险：你今天一天都干嘛啦？
较安全：希望你今天没累着。
最安全：我一直都喜欢看你穿这件睡袍。
超安全：来，吃点儿巧克力。
PMS可以代表的13样东西：
1.拿我的枪来Pass My Shotgun
2.神经病心境转移Psychotic Mood Shift
3.永恒大嚼盛宴Perpetual Munching Spree
4.膨化中段Puffy Mid-Section
5.让我恶心的人People Make me Sick
6.给我糖果Provide Me with Sweets
7.原谅我哭Pardon My Sobbing
8.痘痘终将上脸 Pimples May Surface
9.把我的"裆劲"裤递给我Pass My Sweatpants
10.拧巴情绪综合症Pissy Mood Syndrome
11.男人可耻滴失败鸟Plainly; Men Suck
12.我收拾东西Pack My Stuff
13.潜在杀人嫌疑犯Potential Murder Suspect
DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here’s fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t overdo it today.
SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect
跟处在PMS或“经前综合症（Pre-Menstrual Syndrome，估计你们有人猜错了吧）”期的女性——任何女性——呆在一起可谓置身雷区，男人们再小心翼翼也随时可能一步迈错踩爆地雷。有鉴于此，特此收录助你顺利渡过下一轮PMS的重要信息和指导攻略：
危险：晚饭做了什么？
较安全：我帮你做晚饭好吗？
最安全：晚上想去哪儿吃？
超安全：来，吃点儿巧克力。
危险：你要穿这件衣服？
较安全：天耶，你穿棕色真好看！
最安全：哇！你真是绝了！
超安全：来，吃点儿巧克力。
危险：你在那儿激动什么呀？
较安全：我哪儿不对，告诉我好吗？
最安全：拿着，这是五十块。
超安全：来，吃点儿巧克力。
危险：那玩意儿能吃吗？
较安全：你看，咱家还有好多苹果哪。
最安全：我给你倒杯酒就着吃？
超安全：来，吃点儿巧克力。
危险：你今天一天都干嘛啦？
较安全：希望你今天没累着。
最安全：我一直都喜欢看你穿这件睡袍。
超安全：来，吃点儿巧克力。
PMS可以代表的13样东西：
1.拿我的枪来Pass My Shotgun
2.神经病心境转移Psychotic Mood Shift
3.永恒大嚼盛宴Perpetual Munching Spree
4.膨化中段Puffy Mid-Section
5.让我恶心的人People Make me Sick
6.给我糖果Provide Me with Sweets
7.原谅我哭Pardon My Sobbing
8.痘痘终将上脸 Pimples May Surface
9.把我的"裆劲"裤递给我Pass My Sweatpants
10.拧巴情绪综合症Pissy Mood Syndrome
11.男人可耻滴失败鸟Plainly; Men Suck
12.我收拾东西Pack My Stuff
13.潜在杀人嫌疑犯Potential Murder Suspect
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