Sharing: My experience of online datingDISCLAIMER:
THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ARE ONLY MY PERSONAL POINT OF VIEW, THEY ARE NOT REPRESENTATIVE IN ANY WAY.
NO OFFENCES ARE INTENDED.
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Since we are living in a cyber world now, i thought there is a fair chance to meet Mr. Right online, plus i know a few friends who testimonied that true love could be found online. So i wrote a rough introduction about myself and my expectation for the boyfriend-to-be and posted it on two websites www.sgchinese.com.sg/bbs and www.huasing.org. The viewers of these two websites are mainly chinese, i mean mainland chinese, like myself. I thought that birds of the same feather flock together, maybe a Chinese man would suit me better than a foreigner. By the way, I have also applied SDU membership, but wasn't keen to join any activities or meet any guys there.
After the ads were posted, I have received quite a lot of re (more...)
the beauty of diversity
What an interesting article to read. First let me apologize for not reading every reply in this thread. (BTW, I don’t find the interface of huasing very user friendly, especially when reading the replies; and I hate sgchinese too, as it keeps freezing my firefox.) I wish I could have followed this thread since it was posted, but, too bad, I just came back to Singapore about a month ago. And maybe it’s my problem, but I have visited this page many times and this thread didn’t catch my attention until today. Well, it’s probably my bad, as I simply ignored all ‘ding zhi’s assuming that they are all advertisements.
Now, before I give my comments, let me briefly share my experiences during the past 4 weeks in Singapore on, of course, the so-called online dating. I’m honored to get a chance to meet about 10 nice ladies, all through huasing. Well, some may find it a very small sample, especially those like bbcat who may have received over 100 letters; but to me, it’s a fantastic experience. No doubt every one of them is unique - some are relatively short, the rest are taller; some are better looking and the rest are just average; some had next to zero prior experience with males and the rest look more mature; some like to joke around and enjoyed being teased and the rest are more serious; some are more confident and the rest are relatively shy… There is no way I love every one of them – my love one is also unique – but I like them all, seriously and honestly. I exchanged emails with them sharing stories in our everyday life; I had dinner/lunch with every one of them, told them who I am and what I do; I listen to them and get to know their life; we asked questions and exchanged opinions on various matters… Although I need to admit that I stopped sending emails to many of them voluntarily in order to signal that I’m not their ‘cup of tea’, but my intension is just to give them a clear signal so that they can move on from there. I wish them the best luck and would be more than happy to be one of their best friends if they feel the same.
Note that there is no major difference between my experience and bbcat’s, IMHO, except that I met the gals and she met the guys. In general these people are from the same pool, i.e., those from mainland China, and in particular those who did their undergrad or grad study in Singapore. What makes it different is one’s perception. I don’t want to go any further to teach others what to do and what not to do, and it’s not my intension to draw a conclusion on who is right and who is wrong. I just wish to share with everyone my .02 worth. It is a good idea to keep our minds open, look at the positive side of everything, try to appreciate others’ opinion and personal interests even if those are absolutely what you want to avoid, and last but not the least give your sincere respect to others.
What I would like to emphasize, at the end, is the beauty of diversity. I understand that the one you met may not be ‘the one’ that you are looking for, but in most cases, there is nothing right or wrong when it comes to anything about one’s preference. When I say preference I refer to anything/everything which one is free to choose from and at the same time which wouldn’t affect the life of those around. It can even be extended although I don’t think I want to go that far in this discussion.
Well, it’s probably too much for today. Sorry for the “guan shui”. Friday night without a date makes me wonder what to do, and here I found this interesting article from bbcat. No offense intended to anyone, especially bbcat, and, happy reading. :)
Now, before I give my comments, let me briefly share my experiences during the past 4 weeks in Singapore on, of course, the so-called online dating. I’m honored to get a chance to meet about 10 nice ladies, all through huasing. Well, some may find it a very small sample, especially those like bbcat who may have received over 100 letters; but to me, it’s a fantastic experience. No doubt every one of them is unique - some are relatively short, the rest are taller; some are better looking and the rest are just average; some had next to zero prior experience with males and the rest look more mature; some like to joke around and enjoyed being teased and the rest are more serious; some are more confident and the rest are relatively shy… There is no way I love every one of them – my love one is also unique – but I like them all, seriously and honestly. I exchanged emails with them sharing stories in our everyday life; I had dinner/lunch with every one of them, told them who I am and what I do; I listen to them and get to know their life; we asked questions and exchanged opinions on various matters… Although I need to admit that I stopped sending emails to many of them voluntarily in order to signal that I’m not their ‘cup of tea’, but my intension is just to give them a clear signal so that they can move on from there. I wish them the best luck and would be more than happy to be one of their best friends if they feel the same.
Note that there is no major difference between my experience and bbcat’s, IMHO, except that I met the gals and she met the guys. In general these people are from the same pool, i.e., those from mainland China, and in particular those who did their undergrad or grad study in Singapore. What makes it different is one’s perception. I don’t want to go any further to teach others what to do and what not to do, and it’s not my intension to draw a conclusion on who is right and who is wrong. I just wish to share with everyone my .02 worth. It is a good idea to keep our minds open, look at the positive side of everything, try to appreciate others’ opinion and personal interests even if those are absolutely what you want to avoid, and last but not the least give your sincere respect to others.
What I would like to emphasize, at the end, is the beauty of diversity. I understand that the one you met may not be ‘the one’ that you are looking for, but in most cases, there is nothing right or wrong when it comes to anything about one’s preference. When I say preference I refer to anything/everything which one is free to choose from and at the same time which wouldn’t affect the life of those around. It can even be extended although I don’t think I want to go that far in this discussion.
Well, it’s probably too much for today. Sorry for the “guan shui”. Friday night without a date makes me wonder what to do, and here I found this interesting article from bbcat. No offense intended to anyone, especially bbcat, and, happy reading. :)
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