(引用 功夫熊猫:话说分了手就不要试图用暧昧朋友关系来维系了)很难界定什么是暧昧，什么是单纯的朋友间的关心。
如果心没死，任何蛛丝马迹都可能成为暧昧。[夕月夕心 (3-11 15:30, Long long ago)]
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(引用 xixiyu:很难。。这条路我曾经走过。。刚开始还可以像以前一样每天固定的电话信息联络，
慢慢就会越来越敏感还会吵架还会更计较，总有一天会觉得...)i think it's a yes for meBut I have to say that most people won't do that as they cannot or rather have very poor control over their emotional feeling and needs.
I still remember the days that I have poor control, which has caused some problems. However, i still feel that the process could be learned if you two are trying very hard. Although I wasn't given proper chances, I managed to be friends of two of my ex, we still keep in touch, talk about our life plans, send gifts to each other, write post-cards and sometimes call to say hi. I even got a wedding invitation from one of them.
The only obstacle for that not happening is that you guys give up trying or the feeling's still there and one fails to accept the fact.
Anyway, I strongly feel it's a very good learning experience as a lot of westerners can do that but why not us?
The only reason I can think of that not many Asians can is that we don't have many chances to try or we don't try at all just like my other exes.
Nevertheless, even if you decide to try, I have to warn you that the process is very TOUGH. And it takes 2 persons' effort, not only you, to make it work. Your ex better have the same perspective as you do. Otherwise, it's a sure failure.
[fool (3-11 15:32, Long long ago)]
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I think it's a yes for meBut I have to say that most people won't do that as they cannot or rather have very poor control over their emotional feeling and needs.
I still remember the days that I have poor control, which has caused some problems. However, i still feel that the process could be learned if you two are trying very hard. Although I wasn't given proper chances, I managed to be friends of two of my ex, we still keep in touch, talk about our life plans, send gifts to each other, write post-cards and sometimes call to say hi. I even got a wedding invitation from one of them.
The only obstacle for that not happening is that you guys give up trying or the feeling's still there and one fails to accept the fact.
Anyway, I strongly feel it's a very good learning experience as a lot of westerners can do that but why not us?
The only reason I can think of that not many Asians can is that we don't have many chances to try or we don't try at all just like my other exes.
Nevertheless, even if you decide to try, I have to warn you that the process is very TOUGH. And it takes 2 persons' effort, not only you, to make it work. Your ex better have the same perspective as you do. Otherwise, it's a sure failure.[fool (3-11 15:32, Long long ago)]
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(引用 fool:I think it's a yes for meBut I have to say that most people won't do that as they cannot or rather have very poor control over ...)Agreed.But both of you must be very TOUGH, emotionally.
If you are not, or you think the other one is not, don't do that.
[夕月夕心 (3-11 15:42, Long long ago)]
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(引用 夕月夕心:话说分了手就不要试图用朋友关系来维系了一，你很缺这个朋友吗？
二，还能做朋友，一定是一人不爱了，一人还爱着。不要让自己受伤害，也�...)我同意。不和那人联系并不完全是因为还对那人有想法。也可能是对自己的过去觉得恶心。
比如：我那是怎么会看上他/她？
所以，为了不否定自己，最好不和ex联系咯。
这只是提醒，大家都倾向于理解的情况的另一种可能。
况且：你真的就这么缺这个朋友吗？如果放得下了，一定自己活得也很好，干吗非要回头看。
[simomo (3-11 16:21, Long long ago)]
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(引用 simomo:我同意。不和那人联系并不完全是因为还对那人有想法。也可能是对自己的过去觉得恶心。 比如：我那是怎么会看上他/她？ 所以，为了不否�...)交朋友是凭感觉不是凭势力（not实力），不是电视剧情节。[simomo (3-11 16:23, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]26楼
(引用 simomo:我同意。不和那人联系并不完全是因为还对那人有想法。也可能是对自己的过去觉得恶心。
比如：我那是怎么会看上他/她？
所以，为了不否�...)哈哈看走眼了……
[夕月夕心 (3-11 16:48, Long long ago)]
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(引用 夕月夕心:哈哈看走眼了…… )我又犯错误了？[simomo (3-11 17:03, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]28楼
(引用 simomo:我又犯错误了？)比如：我那是怎么会看上他/她？ ------> 看走眼了……[夕月夕心 (3-11 17:11, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]29楼
(引用 明天:谢谢你,可能从心底里还有着什么期许吧我们没有第三者,双方父母都同意,可是在我们计划着结婚和以后的生活时,他退缩了,终于有一天他问我和�...)要说到结婚两人的性格和包容力似乎更重要。
爱情在其次。
有爱情，不等于能走到婚姻。
走到了，也不一定就能长久。
这个问题上，我觉得男的大多比较理智，女的大多比较盲目。
个人意见[夕月夕心 (3-11 17:20, Long long ago)]
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(引用 夕月夕心:比如：我那是怎么会看上他/她？ ------> 看走眼了……)。。。。[simomo (3-11 17:21, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]31楼
(引用 fool:I think it's a yes for meBut I have to say that most people won't do that as they cannot or rather have very poor control over ...)不一样的看法有道理，不容易[GieTee (3-11 18:20, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]32楼
(引用 夕月夕心:话说分了手就不要试图用朋友关系来维系了一，你很缺这个朋友吗？ 二，还能做朋友，一定是一人不爱了，一人还爱着。不要让自己受伤害，也�...)不是一定只是可能[GieTee (3-11 18:20, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]33楼
取决于你自己可能性很多[GieTee (3-11 18:23, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]34楼
(引用 功夫熊猫:有病不是理由，有好男人在身边还不治病就是你的错了)我喜欢摔药罐子，和破罐子破摔~错鸟~[在月球上看世界 (3-11 21:35, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]35楼
(引用 xixiyu:很难。。这条路我曾经走过。。刚开始还可以像以前一样每天固定的电话信息联络，
慢慢就会越来越敏感还会吵架还会更计较，总有一天会觉得...)有点怕。。。我能够体会到你说的了，一天没有他的电话，就愣神看着电话发呆，揣测着他此时应该做着什么。给自己设想了很多假设，想要说服自己放下，真得好辛苦。。。
我真得不想做这个好人的。。。可是固执的认为只有原谅他，才能解脱我自己。
我甘愿回到从头，和他只做朋友。。。[明天 (3-14 14:19, Long long ago)]
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(引用 在月球上看世界:我喜欢摔药罐子，和破罐子破摔~错鸟~)买塑料罐就行了[功夫熊猫 (3-14 14:38, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]37楼
年轻人。。。。年轻真好[孤独川陵 (3-14 19:11, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]38楼
(引用 fool:I think it's a yes for meBut I have to say that most people won't do that as they cannot or rather have very poor control over ...)又彪方言。。。。。。。[孤独川陵 (3-14 19:31, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]39楼
曾子曰，有备无患可以互为后备军，第二梯队[mkx (3-15 13:22, Long long ago)] [ 传统版 | sForum ][登录后回复]40楼