同意
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作者:niumum (等级:6 - 驾轻就熟,发帖:5271) 发表:2012-10-31 09:20:34  楼主  关注此帖评分:
第一的话我接受,其他的就得探讨下是为什么了,态度很关键呀。
同意
并且所谓平庸,会不会论断太早?成绩好的话,进入社会之后是否又会平庸呢?

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again
If I had my child to raise over again,
I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I'd do less correcting, and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less, and know to care more.

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I'd run through more fields, and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging, and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd teach less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.
It matters not whether my child is big or small,
From this day forth, I'll cherish it all.
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作者:niumum (等级:6 - 驾轻就熟,发帖:5271) 发表:2012-10-31 10:48:39  2楼
平庸不好界定。来点容易判断的标准吧。拿学习来讲,我也希望孩子快乐,享受童年,没有学业压力,可是如果一个班级有50人,正常水平如果排到20开外,心里真的有点不能接受。他爸我俩现在虽然很平庸,但上学时还都算拔尖的,学习从来不让大人操心。 要是孩子不能遗传这一点,比如特别贪玩不自觉,或者特别努力但是成绩一般般,我可真不知道怎么办了。毕竟,谁都忘子成龙,但总要有孩子排在后面。 我现在就做鸵鸟,心心念的觉得我俩的孩子不会在学习上太差,但其实一点把握都没有。。。。。。只能期待自己好运。 其他的特长,不需要拔尖,自娱自乐就可以了。 至于走入社会,我的标准就是女孩比我强,男孩比他爸强哈哈,没有过高要求。他们这一代比我们当年条件好多了,理应比父辈强的。 不要说什么健康快乐最重要哦,这两条是基本的,家长普遍贪心嘛,要了还想要。注重学习或前途的家长不意味着他们不追求孩子健康快乐。
我也常常在思考,我们的父辈究竟做对了什么
让我们小时候这么自觉,哈哈
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作者:niumum (等级:6 - 驾轻就熟,发帖:5271) 发表:2012-10-31 10:55:29  3楼
我也常常在思考,我们的父辈究竟做对了什么让我们小时候这么自觉,哈哈
这几天关于PSLE考试制度的讨论
考试成绩拔尖,只是为了确保在接下来的求学生涯里,继续考出好成绩。但接受教育的最终目的(功利的那一部分),是找到好工作,在社会里表现杰出。

成绩好却道德低下(教育部奖学金的主娈童,国大法律系性爱光碟等),或者成绩好却不知道自己真正喜爱的真正擅长的,最后只能庸碌工作一辈子。

所以不平庸(成绩好)真的那么重要吗?
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作者:niumum (等级:6 - 驾轻就熟,发帖:5271) 发表:2012-10-31 12:19:20  4楼
偶小的时候就对自己说我孩子的东西是孩子的,不是我的。。。我会引导他向我认为好的方向发展,但是我不去帮他做太多的决定。。。 当然,在孩子18岁之前,你要帮他做一些决定是没错的。。。只不过不能过分。
据说那些容易做出错误决定的孩子,就是从小什么都让家长决定没有机会自己做决定
We must understand that
making good choices is
like any other activity:
It has to be learned.

All loving parents face essentially the same
challenge: raising children who have their
heads on straight and will have a good
chance to make it in the big world. Every
sincere mom and dad strives to attain this
goal. We must equip our darling offspring to
make the move from total dependence on us
to independence, from being controlled by us
to controlling themselves.

As parents, this means we must allow for
failures and help our kids make the most of
them during their elementary school days,
when the price tags are still reasonable.

The cost of learning how to live in our world
is growing up daily. The price a child pays
today to learn about
friendships, school,
learning, commitment,
decision making, and
responsibility is the
cheapest it will ever be.

The older a child gets,
the bigger the decisions
become and the graver
the consequences of those decisions. Little
children can make many mistakes at
affordable prices. Usually all they’re out
are some temporary pain and a few tears.
Yet those prices are too high for some
parents. They protect. They reason, “I love
him. I don’t want little Johnny to learn the
hard way.”

True, it’s painful to watch our kids learn
through natural consequences or, as we like
to call them, significant learning opportunities
(SLOs). But that pain is part of the price we
must pay to raise responsible kids.

The challenge of parenting is to love kids
enough to allow them to fail—to stand back,
however painful it may be, and let SLOs
build our children.

To help our children gain responsibility, we
must offer them opportunities to be responsible.
That’s the key. Parents who raise responsible
kids spend very little time and energy
worrying about their kids’ responsibilities;
they worry more about how to let the children
encounter SLOs for the irresponsibility. They
are involved with their kids, certainly,
lovingly using good judgment as to when
their children are ready to learn the next level
of life’s lessons. But they don’t spend their
time reminding them or worrying for them.
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作者:niumum (等级:6 - 驾轻就熟,发帖:5271) 发表:2012-10-31 12:20:07  5楼
据说那些容易做出错误决定的孩子,就是从小什么都让家长决定没有机会自己做决定We must understand that making good choices is like any other activity: It has to be learned. All loving parents face essentially the same challenge: raising children who have their heads on straight and will have a good chance to make it in the big world. Every sincere mom and dad strives to attain this goal. We must equip our darling offspring to make the move from total dependence on us to independence, from being controlled by us to controlling themselves. As parents, this means we must allow for failures and help our kids make the most of them during their elementary school days, when the price tags are still reasonable. The cost of learning how to live in our world is growing up daily. The price a child pays today to learn about friendships, school, learning, commitment, decision making, and responsibility is the cheapest it will ever be. The older a child gets, the bigger the decisions become and the graver the consequences o (more...)
顾问性家长
Ineffective Parenting Styles:

Helicopter Parents—They hover over
and then rescue their children whenever
trouble arises. They’re always
pulling their children out of jams.

Turbo-Attack Helicopter Model—
These parents, in their zeal to protect
their young, swoop down like jetpowered
AH-64 Apache attack
helicopters on any person or agency
they see as a threat to their child’s
impeccable credentials.

Drill Sergeant Parents—They feel that
the more they bark and the more they
control, the better their kids will be in
the long run.


Effective Parenting Style:

Consultant Parents—They ask their
children questions and offer choices.
Instead of telling their children what
to do, they put the burden of decision
making on their kids’ shoulders.
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作者:niumum (等级:6 - 驾轻就熟,发帖:5271) 发表:2012-10-31 14:12:32  6楼
我觉得象牛妈这样的。。付出了,一直在看到问题,尽力解决问题,让孩子能有一个好的性格,就是个好妈妈。。。孩子又何谓平庸不平庸? 根据孩子的性格,让他能够有自己的发展,有判断的能力,与人为善的心,大概就够了。。 如果孩子不平庸是父母引以为豪的资本,而因为孩子所谓成绩不好的“平庸”而感到没面子,拿大概就是没必要了。。。 孩子有逆反心理的时期,引导他正确的观念,才是最重要的把。
你是说我转载的这样吧。。。
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作者:niumum (等级:6 - 驾轻就熟,发帖:5271) 发表:2012-10-31 14:15:27  7楼
接受孩子的平庸不代表孩子以后的生活就平庸,不接受孩子的平庸却可能后患无穷第一种情况:各种改进方式方法尝尽,孩子自己有主观愿望,结果就会不断努力力求不平庸,这种习惯延续到压力极大的工作环境或生活环境,就是身体或精神越来越吃不消,很多重大疾病其实来源于压力,最极端是主动性过劳死; 第二种情况:家长或学校用洗脑的方式扭曲孩子的意愿或者用强迫的手段要求孩子必须努力,这种方法延续到社会,前者导致孩子变成没有自己思想的行尸走肉;后者导致孩子变成外表光鲜内心不快乐的成功人士,最极端是大家熟知的明星生活; 第三种情况:还是用洗脑的方式或强迫手段,导致孩子变成没有思想的行尸走肉或是比普通人强那么一点点但内心不快乐的平庸人士,热衷攀比文化的大多数人都落在这个行列。如果不懂厚黑学最极端是被动性过劳死或者富士康跳楼事件;
没错!
Parents who try to ensure their children’s success often raise unsuccessful kids.

- According to Jim Fay, one of America’s top educational consultants, and Dr. Foster Cline, a trend-setting child and adult psychiatrist.
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作者:niumum (等级:6 - 驾轻就熟,发帖:5271) 发表:2012-10-31 16:06:56  8楼 评分:
你是否接受你的孩子' 平庸 '?在一路讨论名校的进程中,偶想插一个话题:优秀如你,能否接受自己的孩子"平庸"?
你是否接受你孩子的性向?
万一孩子是基佬蕾丝边?

富豪赵世曾不承认女儿同性婚礼 豪掷5亿招婿
http://edu.sina.com.cn/bschool/2012-10-14/1259358235.shtml

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作者:niumum (等级:6 - 驾轻就熟,发帖:5271) 发表:2012-11-01 12:42:31  9楼
我的意思是,牛妈你花这么多精力,就是好妈妈。
知易行难
虽然想知道尽多的育儿知识,但在行动上,这里付出更多精力的妈妈很多,例如水版主的精美手工:)
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作者:niumum (等级:6 - 驾轻就熟,发帖:5271) 发表:2012-11-01 13:07:05  10楼
我估计他爸会说不配做人还不如人道毁灭算了。
不得不说,很多不平庸的都是同性恋
达芬奇,Elton John,
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作者:niumum (等级:6 - 驾轻就熟,发帖:5271) 发表:2012-11-01 17:28:52  11楼
哎玛呀,把我笑死了。
弱问笑点在哪儿?
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作者:niumum (等级:6 - 驾轻就熟,发帖:5271) 发表:2012-11-02 08:41:21  12楼
回复偶对于狼狼的不平庸没兴趣。狼爸为了这不平庸,可是费尽心血了。 偶更喜欢李云迪。 只是在世俗眼里,狼狼肯定不平庸,就像那"哈佛女孩"一样,。。。。。。
不平庸的同时还要显得didn't try too hard...
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作者:niumum (等级:6 - 驾轻就熟,发帖:5271) 发表:2012-11-02 08:42:28  13楼
偶还是觉得张昊辰比较好。。。李云迪能力一般。。。作为钢琴家来说。。。
李云迪貌似是基佬。。。
和王力宏?
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